We’ve all been there – desperate to look grounded when you’re completely fried. Everyone tries to hide being high at some point. Something that sounds easy on the surface, but can actually be pretty daunting when the time comes.
Quite often, attempts to hide being high backfire spectacularly. This is because the more you try to emphasize the fact that you’re totally sober, the more obvious it becomes that you aren’t. How difficult it is to hide being high is influenced by various factors, including how high you are and how desperate you are to appear otherwise.
On the plus side, there are effective ways and means to hide being high, irrespective of how high you are. Advance planning will help, but there’s plenty you can do at the last minute if time really isn’t on your side.
So, next time you need to lie about what you’ve been up to for the past few hours, here’s how to hide being high when you’re completely fried:
1. Wear sunglasses
Admittedly, there are only certain times and places you can get away with this. If you attempt to hide being high by wearing sunglasses where it’s not appropriate to do so, you’ll give the game away. Outdoors, however, it’s the quickest and easiest way of hiding redeye. If you can get into the habit of wearing sunglasses on a regular occasion, nobody will question your motives the next time you stick them on your face.
2. Use eye drops
Sticking with the whole redeye issue, the only thing you can do to help things along is use some eye drops. All forms of cannabis consumption have the potential to leave your eyes looking and feeling as dry as the Gobi Desert. It’ll take some time for your body to get back to business, but you can always give your eyes a welcome dose of hydration. This will help calm the redness as quickly as possible, making you look at least a little less high than you are.
3. Freshen up
There are two reasons why you’ll want to freshen up, if you intend to hide being high. First of all, there’s a good chance you absolutely stink. In which case, all the attempts to hide being high in the world aren’t going to work. Unless you smell sober, nobody’s going to believe you are. In addition, there’s the psychology of freshening up to take into account. If you’re sparkling clean, fresh and smartly dressed, you can fool yourself into thinking you’re not as high as you actually are. To a degree, at least, but still worth the effort.
4. Convince yourself
Rather than focusing on convincing everyone else, it’s better to start out by convincing yourself. This means getting out of the mindset where you’re feeling sorry for yourself and panicking. Instead, tell yourself you’re fine, remind yourself you’ll be back on the ground in no time and it’s all good. The more panicked and anxious you get, the higher you’ll be feeling for the duration. And of course, not in a good way.
5. Sit still
If you’re struggling to cope in the presence of other people, the worst thing you can do is fidget like mad. Sitting still and looking normal when you’re feeling completely abnormal is never easy. However, fidgeting and looking anxious isn’t a normal way of behaving. You’ll need a strong will and good self-control to pull it off, but keep yourself nice and still and you might just get away with it.
6. Don’t talk too much
It’s the same with talking, as people trying to hide being high have a tendency to rabbit away like there’s no tomorrow. In doing so, they completely give the game away. Chatting in a normal way is fine, but talking utter and relentless garbage isn’t the way to go. Nor is attempting to explain yourself and provide all the reasons in the world why you’re definitely not high. Don’t let your guilty conscience get the better of you, which can be easier said than done.
7. Get some exercise
If time and circumstances permit, get some physical exercise before the engagement you’re dreading. There’s not a great deal you can do to accelerate the body’s detoxification processes. However, exercise will fire you up with the energy and positive mindset you need to get through it. It’s also a great way of distracting yourself from the inevitability of what’s to come. Either way, it’s better than sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself.
8. Keep yourself busy
Speaking of which, it can also be useful to keep yourself busy (to a degree) when the time comes. For example, simply taking a pen and writing notes can be a great way of looking perfectly normal. Even something as simple as sipping a cup of coffee could provide at least a little distraction from how wired you feel at the time. Take regular breaks (if possible), head out for a stroll, drink plenty of water and you’ll be feeling better in no time.
9. Make your excuses
If you really are in a bad way, you need to consider whether the consequences of being busted for getting high are worse than those of not turning up in the first place. If this is the case, you may be better off biting the bullet and making your excuses. This may be the perfect recipe for an anxious afternoon, but could also save you from an even worse fate. It’s not easy to think rationally at times like these, but sometimes it’s literally impossible to hide being high.
10. Admit it and move on
Last up, there’s really only one other thing you can do if you cannot hide being high. That being, to admit you’re completely off your rocker and move on. Even if the consequences aren’t particularly pleasant, you’ll have come clean and won’t have to pretend anymore. In which case, the relief will probably outweigh whatever kind of trouble you’re in for getting high when you shouldn’t have.